Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize