yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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