next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
