so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
