I feel like I'm in dance class right now
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
