Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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