yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
