The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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