YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Randomize
