The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
