Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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