I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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