I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
