Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Randomize
