"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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