the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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