I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Let's get the cat blown out
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
