I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
