i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
