Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
