after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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