the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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