This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
