none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
