I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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