You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
