Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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