I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Reggie can tackle my bush.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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