as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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