Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
