if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
