why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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