proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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