Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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