you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
