i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
