i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
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