Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
