perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
