Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
