I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
