Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
