Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
