Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
