I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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