3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Randomize
