id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
