Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
operation harelip BJ is a go
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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