apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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