she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
