U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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