hotel room ftw
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
