with your own penis?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize
