Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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