apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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